The following are some updates and thoughts about the kids and our bonding process with Fikrte (mostly for their grandparents who love to read anything about the kids):
Jessa Fikrte:
We are coming up on 6 months of being home with her. This is a big deal because she was with her birth mom for about 6 months before being left at the orphanage and was there for six months before coming home with us. I wonder if she senses this because her behavior has been changing. She falls apart all of the time with some big fits or she is the happiest little thing ever. It is hard to know what is her personality and what is adoption related. I do notice that she gets very panicked and clings to me at times. She gets a wild look in eyes like I might disappear at any moment. I think those fears put her on edge and set her off on her fits when she doesn't get her way.
I see why people who adopt toddlers say that there are a lot of fits to deal with. I don't mind though (Tobin had gotten me ready for anything). Even though Fikrte was 1 when we brought her home, she was not a baby for very long. While I do wonder what she was like, I don't feel like I missed anything. God meant for us to have her at this age and on. I can't wait to adopt even older kids one day when ours are a little older. She is getting me ready for that as well.
Adoption:
All and all the bonding has gone really fast and really well with her. She is so attached to me that I know that it will grow into a really strong bond. I now feel as if she has always been here, but I still don't know her or have as strong of bond like I do with Tobin. I don't expect to. I have known Tobin a lot longer.
Personality wise she is very intense and dramatic. Tobin feeds into that with his own drama and our day is filled with screaming. They scream when they are happy to see each other and when they are fighting over a toy. She is already dealing with toddler stuff and wants her way all of the time (what toddler doesn't). With Tobin, the 1 year old stage was so much harder than the two year old stage. I wonder if it will be the same with her. It would seem that my darling children are not content with being a simple baby and insist on running quickly into the toddler years. However, at 1 they do not have the ability to communicate or understand the way that they want to, so there is much frustration.
My house is pretty crazy though with two toddlers with endless energy and lots of drama running around all day. It has gotten easier each month and I don't want to crawl into a hole and hide quite as often.
Tobin is talking more and more everyday and says the funniest things. He still goes to time out often for taking toys or hitting, but I have seen a huge amount of improvement since Fikrte came home. He now says his name (Tobo) and loves to list all of the people that he wants me to pray for at bedtime. I love the 2 1/2 age! It is my favorite so far. He is becoming such a little person. The whole family is having so much fun with him! Last night my parents, sister, and I sit around and talk about the things that he said and did that day and laugh and laugh.
Both kids have brought my sister a lot of joy during this hard time. She is half way through with chemo and it has really started to get her sick and keeps her in bed for a week or so at a time. The kids go up and visit her a few times a day and they keep her laughing. They can't be up there long though because they are exhausting (I should know). But, they bring all of us such joy! I do so love my kids.
The two jessas.
Clark and my cousin Ben on the tube. Grandma rented a boat for the week so we could go tubing.
My cousin Tara and our future cousin Ronnie (next summer is the wedding). It was nice to get to spend some time with Ronnie. He fits into the family just great!
I'm on a boat!
Uncle Todd, Grandma, and Aunt Jen.
My cousins Jenny and Cloe. Jenny is my cousin from the other side of the family and lives with Jessa up in NYC. But, since the cancer she is living here with us this summer to help out. She was adopted by the other side of the family as a Hutchins for this week. Cloe loved doing her hair. Cloe came home from China when she was a baby, so Jessa Fikrte is not the only adopted kid on that side of the family.
Tobin was not so sure of the boat at first.
Tobin with Uncle Todd's family and Grandma (we missed you Luke and Amy).
the cousins with Aunt Jen. Ben, Will, and Cloe were so great with my kids and loved playing with them.
On the way back from the pool. "Diaper babies" as Tobin says.
