Adoptive Mom Retreat

This last weekend I went to an adoptive moms retreat here in Atlanta. I didn't know anyone there, so this was very not like me. I am very shy and don't like crowds or even retreats for that matter, but I am a sucker for anything connected with adoption. The woman that they roomed with me was 8 months pregnant so it worked out perfectly. We both needed to eat all of the time and wanted to go to bed early :)

The retreat was nice and I made some friends. I was really looking forward to some of the seminars about different adoption topics. The African haircare was interesting but I didn't learn anything new. It was a little dissapointing, but it was geared towards moms that didn't know anything about haircare and I have been doing Fi's hair for 2 years now. The lecture that I really liked was about adopting older children and siblings group. It was the best seminar the whole weekend! The mom who spoke did a great job and a year ago had adopted a set of 2 yr old and 4 yr old brothers from Ethiopia. She said all of the things that I knew had to be true but people don't say about adoption. It was just very real and so nice to hear at last. She talked about how she still sleeps in the same room as her youngest after a year and how you can't expect your adopted child to be like every other kid right away. She really stressed thinking of your child according to their "family age" which means how long they have been home with you. For example, Fi is 3 years old but she has only been home 2 years so her family age is really 2 years old. Emotionally she is more like 2 years old and I need to remember that.

Clark and I already kind of think like this, but it was nice to hear. For example, ever since Fi came home from Ethiopia she has needed to sleep right next to me or Clark (but mostly wants Mommy). She still seems like she needs that so we are not going to try to get her sleep by herself. I believe that you really need to look at the big picture sometimes in parenting. In the big picture, Fi will someday sleep in a bed all night by herself. She will not be 14 yrs old and still in bed with me. And if we don't force it, it will probably happen sooner. A need met won't resurface later as an issue.

Anyway, I did enjoy the conference even though I was nauseous (but what is new). It was so odd to be away from the kids. I am never really away from them especially since I have been stuck at home being sick for so long. It was really hard to sleep away from them too. I slept much better the night I got back and got to snuggle again. I am glad to be home with my babies.